Is This All There Is?

As I stood at the kitchen sink doing yet another pile of dishes (there is no dishwasher in my home, so dirty dishes time is my time to look out the window and engage in some dangerous thinking time), I thought to myself, "Is this it? I've been at this for 7 years, and it doesn't seem like I have come very far. If this is what my life will continue to be, I'm okay with that Lord...but I just feel like there's so much more. Maybe just not for me." 

As a single Mom of three children under the age of 11, I'm often tired, worried, hopeless, and frustrated. I'm sure many of you can relate to that. I am often left wondering what I've done wrong along the way to not have life in abundance like I see others having. We barely squeak by each month with the bills, don't have gas money most days to even go anywhere, and having all of the responsibilities and decisions on my shoulders alone without help from the other parent can be very exhausting. Then I stopped myself...

This is a pity party...this is the enemy's scheme. I felt The Holy Spirit come over me and urge me to look to the "Who" I am supposed to be focusing on instead of the "What" we don't have. Only when we take time with God can we be reminded of how blessed we truly are in all circumstances. My attitude immediately shifted and went to the things that bring me joy and fulfillment, instead of the things that are lacking or feel like they are breaking me. Yes, we barely squeak by...but we DO squeak by. Yes, we may not have gas to go all the places we want...but we have our own vehicle and the ability to get where we need to. Yes, I may have the sole responsibility of all of my children emotionally, physically, and financially...but I also never miss a moment of their lives and it makes my heart whole to know I'm sacrificing everything in my life so I can give everything to theirs. I was called to be a mother, and that is exactly what I am doing, albeit not in the circumstances one ever intends or hopes for.

That doesn't mean I'm not broken, I am. And I will continue to be for years to come, but there will be progress and healing along the way. You see, the world takes broken things and throws them away...but Jesus takes broken people and lifts them up! Our biggest burdens are sometimes brought to lead us to our greatest blessings. But we cannot get there in our own strength, it just is not possible. But with God, all things are possible. He is our strength and our portion. So as I look around at my openly and vividly imperfect life and world...I can now see that I am living life in abundance already. Because life in abundance involved the things that matter most to our hearts and souls: family to lean on, friends to share life with, a relationship with The Lord that continues in its growth, serving others and sharing our stories, and waking up every day laying all we have at the foot of the cross. When we do that, we can bear another day. When we do that, we can trust that our load will be lightened. When we do that, we can see the bountiful blessings that already surround us, and not focus on what doesn't. 

Life in abundance, simply put, is a life spent living for Jesus Christ. That is good news for us all, because it means we ALL can have life in abundance...if only we will CHOOSE to accept what Christ is freely offering us. Are you? Are you living your life in fullness? Are you seeing abundance in all circumstances? If the answer is no, go back to basics: pick up your Bible, remind yourself of God's truths, and remember how He loves you and that He sacrificed the blood of His Only Begotten Son so that we could not only live, but live life abundantly. His gift is waiting for you, you need only accept it and trust in it.